Okay, that’s it.  I’m throwing in the towel on this climate-challenged planet.  What’s the point?  What’s the use?  What the ducks??!

Newsweek recently reported that in a warming world, certain crops* would be more difficult to grow than others.  And, as you probably guessed, the popular cacao bean is on that hotter Earth hit list.  Nooooooo!

It’s clear, therefore, that we need to face the culinary if not political, social and meteorological challenges of a changed climate.  For example, possible post-choco outcomes could include:

–Valentine candies dipped in algae.

–After sledding, no hot cocoa—how about some nice re-purposed sludge?**

–Mole sauce?  Nada.

–Tartuffo?  Ditto.

–Hershey, PA would have major redesign issues.

–No reason to go to Belgium.***

So whether you believe the recent trends of bizarre weather, highest-recorded temperatures and loss of polar cold stuff are caused by people, sunspots or extremely bad luck, it doesn’t matter to me.

We’re going to run out of chocolate!!!!

Hmm, maybe there’s something to that end-of-the-world thing after all.




*Also on the list such fun breakfast items as wheat, maple syrup and strawberries.  Spam is not mentioned.

**Oops, no sledding either!

***Just kidding.  Presumably they’ll still have frites.



Print edition of Newsweek magazine, December 17, 2012 in sidebar on page 33, “Foods At Risk” by Nina Strochlic that doesn’t seem to appear in on-line edition (as of this writing.)  PS, the print edition ends December 31st…what is the world coming to???!


Copyright 2012, Lori Fontanes