Day 1: See groundhog first time. Cuss.
Day 2: Spend most of day annoying groundhog in pitiful attempt to make it feel unwanted. Leaving cabbages unfenced does *not* support this effort.
Day 3: Go out of town.
Days 4-7: Convince rodent you’re not returning.
Day 8: Come home. See groundhog again. Cuss more.
Day 9: Continue harassment program including shouting from doors, banging on windows and playing NPR at high volume.
Day 10: Finally search “non-toxic solutions to groundhog problems” on the Internet.
Day 11: After night dreaming of Bill Murray and gophers, try hosing water near access hole under deck. Ignore varmint laughter.
Day 12: Run outside and spray water around deck every time you see groundhog. Bonus: You now have a really clean deck.
Day 13: Consider additional “non-toxic solutions” including (used) cat litter (ugh), dog fur (note to self: acquire dog), crushed garlic, and moving.
Day 14: Notice groundhog now hanging out with rabbit and chipmunk by the cherry tomatoes.
Day 15: Call moving company.
Copyright 2014, Lori Fontanes